I am still the same person. scared, insecure and very heartbroken over the incident. But I'm going to deal with things very differently from now on. It still eats away at me... the things that were mentioned and the facts still remain. I feel like I can't write that freely anymore on this journal. Cos as much as i never really update it, some people might check in every nowand then and thats just scary. I'm worried about the future. REally worried. But i'm going to try my very best to rebuild everything.
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {6:44 PM}
I got very angry today. Like hopping mad... furious. but the thing is, i don't even remember that much about why I flared up and I don't think that the anger I felt was justified for this situation. Small things like these get me crazy and I'm only venting it on ONE single person. This is the problem really. I don't have anyone else I think who can take it. Afterwhich I suddenly felt majorly depressed. I think I need some fucking therapy. Cos i'm feeling like a piece of shit. I shouldnt have to feel this way at 4am in the morning. I have everything good going for me right now, and I have a good happy life with wonderful people. But somehow just thinking about stuff make me tear up. Nobody really knows this except one other person. Which is why i think there's that wonderful anonymity of a blog. Somehow i'm half glad nobody checks this blog out anymore ( i dont'really update), cos its gives me something else to rant to. I'm frikin crying for no frikin reason. im just so anxious about everything... the future and... the past and.. everything that is... I forget everything else around me except the fact that i'm angry and upset. this isnt the first time it has happend... the whole crazy episode... one small TRIvial thing to trigger it off. I feel like at this point of time i dont have ANYBODY else to turn to. yea i have loads of close friends and family. but nobody really talks about emo stuff. I myself feel uncomfortable sharing my feelings with those around me. Lots of verbal sparring has happened tonight, and i can only seek solace in the fact that he's even around to tolerate this for like the millionth time. I dont have anybody else to turn to. Right now i'm crying. and the only thing thats in my head is "i'm depressed". I dont remember much anymore. I wonder if anybody else gets breakdowns like that. Or is it just me? Is it a normal thing? to freak out on your loved ones and go ballistic? I feel like going to see a counsellor because i'm feeling so fucking depressed. Yes i'm THAT desperate to rid myself of all these negative feelings. I know that if I continue goign on like this, i'm going to lose my loved ones because some of them actually have limits. and i also know that my health is going to suffer real bad because of all the hormones that one produces when one is awfully mad/depressed, and its not once in a blue moon. I'd say at least once a month I get really depressed? every few days i get upset. almost every day in fact... i have something to be upset about. I really have no idea if its normal. doesnt seem like it cos everyone around me .. they always seem happy. i mean... i do see ups and downs but theyre generally happy and they dont stay sad for long unlike me. I'm feeling better now. We did reach a consensus anyway, but that would be more beneficial for our relationship than for me. I would still remain pretty much the same, which is why i'm thinking that i should go do somethingabout these awful depressive/angry bouts that i get so often.
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {3:57 AM}
today was good fun. but i cant get to sleep. i'm upset about something. i do not like being mistaken for another girl. and i just realised. i don't say hi to my friends anymore... like if i see them out and stuff. i should huh? :p i'm sorry. i dont feel comfortable at all.
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {4:36 AM}
Frozen food stays good for as long as it's kept in the freezer.
The Correct Answer:
Your Answer:
The correct answer: True. Foods frozen at 0°F are safe to eat indefinitely, though flavor and texture may change with time, according to the USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service.
If you see a spot of mold on your Cheddar, you can cut it off and eat the rest.
The Correct Answer:
Your Answer:
The correct answer: True. A bit of mold on hard cheeses like Cheddar or Parmesan can be trimmed off, 1 inch around and below the spot (be careful not to touch the mold with your knife to prevent cross contamination). But soft varieties such as Brie or cottage cheese can be affected below the surface, so if you see mold, throw it out.
Rinsing eggs before cracking removes bacteria lurking on the shells.
The Correct Answer:
Your Answer:
The correct answer: False. Rinsing eliminates the protective coating added to already sanitized grocery store eggs. The USDA requires that all graded eggs go through this process.
It's best to thaw a frozen chicken breast in the microwave.
The Correct Answer:
Your Answer:
The correct answer: False. Microwave thawing is safe but only recommended if you plan to prepare the food immediately — it begins the cooking process, which can allow bacteria to grow. Otherwise, let chicken thaw in the fridge.
Leftovers should be frozen or refrigerated within 2 hours of cooking.
The Correct Answer:
Your Answer:
The correct answer: True. Two hours is the maximum time that perishable foods can sit out at room temperature — which includes the time they're on the table during your meal.
This awesome test came from health.msn.com. it's rather useful and i feel like forwarding it to my mum but i am too lazy to do so now. shall do so later. =)
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {10:50 PM}
my... yesterday was a rather bad day. On a happier note, this morning I just received my goody bag for the Great Eastern fun run. It is probably the coolest gooody bag ever! Has the usual brochures blah stuff, discount vouchers for swensens, brewerkz, Asience shampoo & condition + some hair mist thing which is exactly what i need in hall, a nice small packet of cereal, sunblock. All in wonderful tiny packaging! i absolutely love tiny packaging... Maybe that's why I have a thing for goody bags! oh plus this wristband, my rather oversized "XS" adidas running top & bib with my wonderful name printed on it. After being a biz mag, I can totally appreciate the tremendous effort put into such stuff. Oh yea... and after being reminded that the run is to take place next week, we went jogging at that lakeside park (don't really know the exact name). But I finally completed my target route! Still had that tight chest and hurting calves, but I feel rather proud of myself for persevering! And it wasn't that bad... Maybe cos I was running at a turtle's pace. I am so not going to scoff at those people who run as though they're walking; It really does help you cope with long distances. the bottom line is that I kept going for about half an hour which is much better than my usual. Must motivate self to run in school nxt week to prepare!
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {4:02 PM}
this is one of those lab reports that makes me feel so utterly stupid and helpless and dependent. I realise that i could never do without referring to another classmate's lab reports and i wonder how long i'm going to survive in sbs like this. i wasted an entire afternoon just staring blankly. most of my classmates at least have some sort of inkling of what to do. but lemmee tell you most of the time my mind is just one big blank thing. I don't even have an idea on what to do. And not having anyone around right now is stressing me out further because i know i dont really understand the concepts well, and i need someone to explain. But i think i've been bugging most of my friends enough and i already feel bad enough for that. this is just so dumb and pointless.
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {12:55 PM}
Needs/wants
1. Puppy!
2. Incanto charm
4. Makeup set. I dont really need blushers or glosses. foundation, eyeshadows and brushes. eyelash curlers extremely useful:D
5. la senza/ river island/ topshop/ mango/ forever21/ lovely underwear brands,makeup vouchers
6. Loads of underwear:D
7. an acoustic guitar/portable drumset
8. synthesizer/sampler- one where i can compose and record stuff
9. strawberry/some fruit/hazelnut/mint white/milk chocolate.
10.pasta making machine
12.A pair of 33/34 sized havaianas
16.DARK purple nailpolish
17.cooking lessons
19.loads of accessories
Please do not remove credits.view my other blogskins and my Blog This blogskin is made by `regina Brushes are from Deviantart Picture is from Deviantart
