I got very angry today. Like hopping mad... furious. but the thing is, i don't even remember that much about why I flared up and I don't think that the anger I felt was justified for this situation. Small things like these get me crazy and I'm only venting it on ONE single person. This is the problem really. I don't have anyone else I think who can take it. Afterwhich I suddenly felt majorly depressed. I think I need some fucking therapy. Cos i'm feeling like a piece of shit. I shouldnt have to feel this way at 4am in the morning. I have everything good going for me right now, and I have a good happy life with wonderful people. But somehow just thinking about stuff make me tear up. Nobody really knows this except one other person. Which is why i think there's that wonderful anonymity of a blog. Somehow i'm half glad nobody checks this blog out anymore ( i dont'really update), cos its gives me something else to rant to. I'm frikin crying for no frikin reason. im just so anxious about everything... the future and... the past and.. everything that is... I forget everything else around me except the fact that i'm angry and upset. this isnt the first time it has happend... the whole crazy episode... one small TRIvial thing to trigger it off. I feel like at this point of time i dont have ANYBODY else to turn to. yea i have loads of close friends and family. but nobody really talks about emo stuff. I myself feel uncomfortable sharing my feelings with those around me. Lots of verbal sparring has happened tonight, and i can only seek solace in the fact that he's even around to tolerate this for like the millionth time. I dont have anybody else to turn to. Right now i'm crying. and the only thing thats in my head is "i'm depressed". I dont remember much anymore. I wonder if anybody else gets breakdowns like that. Or is it just me? Is it a normal thing? to freak out on your loved ones and go ballistic? I feel like going to see a counsellor because i'm feeling so fucking depressed. Yes i'm THAT desperate to rid myself of all these negative feelings. I know that if I continue goign on like this, i'm going to lose my loved ones because some of them actually have limits. and i also know that my health is going to suffer real bad because of all the hormones that one produces when one is awfully mad/depressed, and its not once in a blue moon. I'd say at least once a month I get really depressed? every few days i get upset. almost every day in fact... i have something to be upset about. I really have no idea if its normal. doesnt seem like it cos everyone around me .. they always seem happy. i mean... i do see ups and downs but theyre generally happy and they dont stay sad for long unlike me. I'm feeling better now. We did reach a consensus anyway, but that would be more beneficial for our relationship than for me. I would still remain pretty much the same, which is why i'm thinking that i should go do somethingabout these awful depressive/angry bouts that i get so often.
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {3:57 AM}
Needs/wants
1. Puppy!
2. Incanto charm
4. Makeup set. I dont really need blushers or glosses. foundation, eyeshadows and brushes. eyelash curlers extremely useful:D
5. la senza/ river island/ topshop/ mango/ forever21/ lovely underwear brands,makeup vouchers
6. Loads of underwear:D
7. an acoustic guitar/portable drumset
8. synthesizer/sampler- one where i can compose and record stuff
9. strawberry/some fruit/hazelnut/mint white/milk chocolate.
10.pasta making machine
12.A pair of 33/34 sized havaianas
16.DARK purple nailpolish
17.cooking lessons
19.loads of accessories
Please do not remove credits.view my other blogskins and my Blog This blogskin is made by `regina Brushes are from Deviantart Picture is from Deviantart
